Children's things can take over the home if you don't maintain them and create boundaries about where these things can go. The amount of toys differs enormously between the continents as well. America is the country that has the most toys per child and there you often have your own rooms for the children, a school room and a corner of things in the living room and a whole room in the basement called the playroom. Here in Sweden you usually have the toys in the children's room, if you have a big villa you can have a playroom but that is less often than often, then the children tend to spread their things over other parts of the home where you often step on, among other things legos.
No matter how you are in your family, there are studies and research that show that children with fewer things play more and are more creative. Think of all the impressions that all the things create, when the children have these in their room, I can imagine several things that arise. There is chaos in the head because how to choose, children are less inclined to share when they have everything they point to, how relaxing can the room where the children sleep really be if the whole room is full of things and how can creativity flow when all the toys already solved the children's problems. Children must be allowed to think for themselves and children have an ability to create games out of nothing even if the room is empty. So for whose sake have we really collected all these things for the children?
What I'm thinking about is whether it's status for us adults that the child says I got a playstation for Christmas. Who wants one's children to say I got a pen for Christmas or a birthday present. Our material society is structured so that we should consume and that we should feel status with the stuff we own or more with the stuff we can buy, and many times with money we borrow or take on installments.
So back to that kid thing. It is you as an adult who decides what kind of things should be in your home. You are the owner of the house, apartment or whatever you live in and therefore you are responsible if something happens and therefore you have the last word. But it can be tricky, so I will now go through some points that can facilitate the decluttering process, which unfortunately can take time if the child is not involved right away.
- Start reducing the number of gifts. The child is often happy for something if only it is what the child wanted. You don't need to buy 10 other things too. - Do not give the child everything he points to. Gifts should be kept for special days such as Christmas Eve, birthdays and school graduations or whatever days you celebrate in your family. Every day cannot possibly be a party day because then the child will be spoiled. - Teach the child early on the importance that things cost money and that what you buy affects other costs. A spoiled child is difficult to deal with. - Show the child that you can also have fun with experiences instead of always bringing in new things as the joy for the things is often extinguished immediately.
So how do you go about the actual cleansing? Ask your child if there is anything she or he would like to get rid of. Let the child decide. We are all attached to different things, so are the children. If the child wants to keep everything, you can take the next step. Start mapping what the child actually uses and plays with. When you know this, you start to put away what the child does not play with. Put it where the child cannot reach it or can see it, for example in the attic or in the basement. Then you give it some time, say 3 months. If the child asks for something, you will probably get it back. If the child has not asked for the things, you can give them away to charity or the like. I recommend doing this continuously as children quickly outgrow their toys. And I've seen many parents make the same mistake, you as a parent keep one thing you like even though the child says it can declutter that thing. If you want to keep it and not the child, I would say then you are the owner of that thing and can have it in your bedroom. The difference is books that the child is actually too small for, no wonder if the child wants to declutter books with more text than the child can handle, save these until the child is big enough for the books.
Broken toys Honestly, the kids can hurt themselves on broken sharp plastic toys so I remove these as soon as I see it with motivation to the child that it is broken and you could hurt yourself. If I can fix the toy, for example a broken teddy bear that the child loves, I will fix it. That's where my limit is for what the child can decide. I don't want to see him hurt.
As much as possible, my advice is to do this together with the child. However, children do like their parents so don't think you can keep all your things and just declutter the children's things. Set a good example for the child and reduce your things too and talk about the benefits it brings to both you as a family and the one you give the things to to make the process easier. Many children think it's okay to let go of things they don't play with if those things go to another child who lacks toys. If the child is old enough, tell the child to clean his own room. You can try this, what you have not picked up from the floor I will put in the black garbage bag, what is in the black garbage bag I will give away. Give the child time to pick up and then retrieve the things when the child is not looking, for example when sleeping. Hide the bag until you have time to bring it out.
When it is not possible to do this together with the child, do this when the child is not looking. Do not remove the child's things in front of the child if she or he refuses to declutter. Children with many things have often learned that the love is in the things so it will be extremely painful for them when you take that love away in front of them. And as I wrote before only remove the things they are not playing with at this stage, the difference is if you do the black garbage bags trick because then you take everything on the floor that the child has not picked up. If there is something the child wants, for example a new bicycle and you think it is a bit too expensive to buy it, you can always ask the child if there is anything he or she could consider selling in order to start saving money to be able to buy the thing the child wants. It teaches the child two things, you don't always get what you want and that you have to work for what you want.
I hope this helped you and will help you as a family reduce the things your children have. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you. Good luck, you'll make it.
