Declutter – why do we save on everything?

How my journey began
My declutter journey began over 20 years ago when my family was moving from a townhouse into a villa. I panicked about all these things. Could it really be possible that a family consisting of me, my sister and our parents needed so many things?  The first panic came when we emptied the attic and filled our entire large hallway with things no one ever used. Things that were consigned to the attic for a reason. Soft animals that smelled musty from the cold up there, books that almost fell apart, etc. The next panic came when I was sitting on the floor of the new house and was about to unpack my belongings. I had a moving box full of only youth magazines that I had certainly read but were really just rubbish. There and then began my journey that would continue to this day, 20 years later. I threw away the magazines and began to clean through my things.

My first source of inspiration
When I bought the book Clear the Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston, I was hooked. I saw that book as a great guidebook to another life. There was another life beyond all the things I held onto so tightly but it was an emotional journey I was embarking on. During this time I also collected empty pill boxes from sweets, I had a whole chest of drawers full of them. Debris. Much of what I saved was pure rubbish. Clippings from magazines where I thought the articles would be useful in the future and more. Why are we so attached to things?

My theory about why it turned out this way
In recent years, I have come to the following conclusion regarding savings in the Nordic region, possibly a similar scenario in other parts of the world as well. My parent´s generation has parents who lived through World War II. Back then you had to ration and save on everything because you didn't know when it would stop. Those who lived then passed that mentality on to their own children who were born in the 50s. My parents hoard because they were brought up poor as a result of the war, so they were brought up to save everything and not throw anything away. I remember one time about 8 years ago when I asked my mother why they kept old quilts and pillows in the attic. Mom's answer was if you or your sister want or need them. I don't mean to sound rude, but we don't want your old quilts and pillows sitting in the attic attracting moisture through all these years. Throw the crap away because no one wants it anyway. Today it is both easy and cheap to buy new, but the mentality remains with that generation even today that you should save on everything in case it can be used later on. Even the idea that you can throw away something that turns out to be vital is in there. Most things can be replaced today and instead of letting the weather and wind destroy things, you should use them, otherwise it is better that they get a new life somewhere else. It's very fascinating that a person can say that I can't get rid of it, I have to save it, I like it, I'll use it and we can go on forever. The point is, why is it in that basement storage room, up in the attic or in the outhouse if you're going to use it.

If you are reading this and are stuck and in the same situation yourself, keep reading
This is when you have to start letting go. This is when you have to realize that all these things are weighing you down. They hold you to the past and prevent you from looking forward. You deserve peace and quiet, a peaceful mind and a home where the soul can rest. Even if you don't see the things, they are there in your subconscious. All the things we own take up space in our consciousness in one way or another. It affects us negatively. If you love your things, use them. Care for them. Give them new life. There is nothing wrong with owning many things if you really appreciate and use them. But if you are completely honest with yourself, do you really love the things that lie there and are destroyed by the elements, by vermin that come in and settle on unused things. I hate being around bugs myself and that's exactly what old unused things attract, bugs in all their forms. You probably don't just have a museum of things, you probably have a museum of insects of all kinds as well. Do you really want your children to take care of it after you have left this mortal life? Do something about it now. Clear out and fulfill your dreams whether it's to settle down for the rest of your life or discover the world through travel or whatever it may be. Are you living your dreams when your mind is full of old things?

Take control of it now
1. Make up your mind
2. Write a list of areas that really bother you
3. Prepare by taking out empty bags, cartons, boxes that you can sort, trash, glass, paper, plastic, save, throw away, reposition in the home, sell. You decide for yourself what you need (different countries require different types of sorting of what is to be thrown away). Sort what you clear out right away so you don't have to go through everything again 
4. Start small
5. Don't start organizing until you've cleared out what you shouldn't have, it's common to buy storage boxes that later turn out you never needed. If you need boxes to store things in, take either the ones you have at home or buy some cheap boxes. Declutter first and organize later
6. Ask for help if you feel this is too overwhelming for you to handle alone. However, keep in mind that you have to decide about your things yourself (as long as it's not a hoarder's situation because then others may have to decide for you in the end). You should be in control, not your helpers
7. Always keep in mind that you should only save things you love, use and appreciate. And consider the following, if you haven't used it in the last year, you probably will never use it again. If you are a person who really wants to give your memories to your children, create them each a suitably large box of keepsakes to take care of when you are done. That box is your limit on what you can save for them
8. Do you have things you hesitate about. Decide on a box for that and have that box as your limit
9. Throw things away at regular intervals. Decluttering takes time and it needs to be done, but it's like learning to ride a bike, the more you practice the better you get at it. 
You can either donate the things you decluttered to those in need through churches, dog shelters, charity shops, etc., throw away the broken and unusable ones again through your local recycling. Only give away things to family, friends, neighbors that are explicitly said to need it, you don't want to put them in the same dilemma you are in with too much stuff
10. Reward yourself for every work you do. Suggestions, treat yourself to some alone time, have a coffee, read a book, do something that you find fun or relaxing. You deserve it for your effort but remember one thing though, shopping will only drag more stuff into your home and hence give you more work to take care of. You can handle this

How can we help someone who is stuck?
Don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone. They were brought up that way and we all know how difficult it is to break established patterns and change something that we brought with us from home. The only thing we who actually declutter our homes can contribute is information that their personality does not disappear with the things. Memories are not lost just because things do. Unfortunately, it is not possible to reuse moldy things that have been forgotten in the attic, basement storage or outbuildings as mold can create serious health problems for the individual who inhales it. It's about learning. If we are to teach the older generation about decluttering, we must also understand that it takes time to change the ingrained pattern and make people understand that things are better used by someone else than tucked away and exposed to the elements. Here is the list for those of you who want to help.

1. Be patient
2. Set a good example by declutter your things yourself and telling about the process you went through to create inspiration for the person you want to help
3. Show that you are there to help when the person has overcome their fear and wants to start changing. Offer your help
4. Ask questions like, mom why are you saving that, can't you tell me why you keep it with the intention of getting in that maybe she saves the things for you 
5. Judge no one. You probably also have things in your drawers that others would raise their eyebrows over and wonder why you save 
6. Make it a contest. Say I thought I'd clean my house, I bet I'll come up with more than you. If you say that to a competitive person, that person probably wants to win
7. Take note of the person's favorite things to do. If it's traveling, for example, you can tab in, what would you most like to travel if you had the financial opportunity. In this way, you can get in that the things that are just standing can contribute to the trip in the event of a possible sale of these. If it's just pure rubbish the person has, it's not possible, but I hope you understand where I'm coming from want to make this point. However, I would like to point out that I do not recommend selling small things unless you do a flea market. It is too time-consuming to post each item online and then pack the item and ship it. If you as a helper can do that, that would be great, otherwise I recommend just getting rid of the things. It is easy for the person to get stuck otherwise and the things never leave the home
8. Also offer to send the things away to, for example, charity shops, etc
9. Pep, pep, pep the person who is going to declutter
10. Can't say this enough times, be patient 

You are stronger together, so make this a family thing if there are several of you who need to declutter, but remember one thing. You must never, ever declutter someone else's things unless they have explicitly asked for it. We all have different feelings about our things and a thing that may seem worthless to one person is the greatest treasure to another. Also consider the following. If you have had time to collect the things, you also have time to declutter and get rid of them. There are actually three ways that people do this:
1. You let the weather destroy things so that you finally have to throw them away because they are useless - waiting behavior 
2. You let the family declutter your things after you die - passive behavior
3. You take charge of the situation yourself and declutter your own things - motivating behaviour
Which category do you belong to? 

If you want to know more, I will be here to answer your questions, either through email on my website or through my blog posts. Good luck. I believe in you.

Best regards